4/13/09

In my last post, I said that I usually have nothing to write about. This is one of those times.

http://jinxiboo.squarespace.com/blog/2009/3/31/what-not-to-paint-on-your-car-when-traveling-in-the-deep-sou.html

4/12/09

BLAH. I've really kinda been getting bored with blogging lately. When I first started trying to blog every day, I thought I could write a big, long, (seemingly) well-thought-out post, but that obviously didn't work. I usually don't even feel like posting, so I put it off, and then forget until a few days later, and then write a post for every day I missed, along with the current day. I don't feel like blogging, but I feel like I need to. I don't know why, it's not like I'm doing this for any reason other than I was bored last August or whenever I started doing this. I don't even remember what possessed me to even try this. Whatever, it's done now, and I've been doing this for, like, nearly 8 months. It seems like foreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever. Also, I tend to have really awkward endings to my posts, like

Oh yeah? Well fuck you, Netflix (or possibly USPS)

As I stated yesterday, I received an assload of Buffy-related stuff, and among those was my replacement disc for Angel s2 disc 3 from Netflix. I got my first copy of the disc the other day, and as you can see, it had a huge crack in it. Well, I spent all day yesterday catching up on Buffy s5 (since I was already 8 episodes into Angel s2), and today I opened up my Netflix package, and guess what? My replacement disc was cracked. It even looked identical to the other cracked disc, which led me to believe that I had just forgotten to send my other disc back, but I talked to my mom, and she said that she put it in the mailbox for me. The only thing I could think of was that Netflix turned around and sent me the same exact disc that I had reported as unplayable. I then remembered that I had taken a picture of the first disc, so I ran to get my phone, and upon closer inspection, it wasn't the same disc, but the cracks are nearly identical, which makes me think that it's Netflix's doing, as opposed to USPS. I then packaged and put the disc in the mail, but before that, I took a picture of it. I decided to put both pictures up, just for comparison.

First Disc

Second Disc

That means that of the last 6 discs we've gotten from Netflix, 4 of them were broken, because my mom also got two broken discs in the past week. She said that if this keeps happening, we'll have to cancel our Netflix subscription, so Netflix, I love you, but fuck you.

Then again, this might just be the USPS' fault, but since the cracks look so much the same (but aren't), it makes me think that the discs were both cracked at the same time, or at least in the same way, and USPS had the discs at different times, unlike Netflix.

04/10/09

Oh fuck yes. I hit the Buffy jackpot today. I got my Buffy box set today, as well as the Buffy movie (both arrived 3 days early!), and I got another copy of Angel s2 disc 3. I might not post any more for the next while -- I've got 3 seasons of Buffy to watch.

04/09/09

ACD got me hooked on Pandora earlier tonight. I just have one problem with it: IT WON'T STOP GIVING ME COLDPLAY. AUGH. Seriously, I've thumbs-downed three of their songs, and it keeps giving me more.

For lack of a better title, it will be called 4/08/09, baaaaaby

 Netflix sent me my next Angel disc today. yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

YOU DOWN WIT' O.P.P.?

FO SHIZZLE MY NIZZLE

(I did that because I was told to)

What the fuck?

Felicia Day posted this video to her Twitter earlier tonight. What the fuck?




ACD, this is one of the videos I wanted you to see.

Oh god: Fanfics

I generally dislike fanfics. I just think that it's a little tacky to take someone else's property and "reinvent" it. Maybe it's just because I can't always remember what's canon and what I've read that isn't canon. I don't know. I just know that fanfics usually suck.

For some reason, ACD went on fanfiction.net and found out that they have added full support for crossover stories. Ugh. A fanfic centered around one franchise and/or set of characters is one thing, but to COMBINE more than one franchise? Ah HELL NAH. Anyway, we started looking at what some people had done (Firefly/Jurassic Park? Seriously?), and we started joking around about it, and I finally dared him to write something. I told him I wanted it to be a Death Note/Team Fortress 2 crossover story. I told him it doesn't have to make much sense, but I want him to post it somewhere when he gets done with it, whether that's on him blog or whatever. He had to leave soon after that, but before he left, I told him to give me two things to do a crossover with, and he told me to do a Hey Arnold!/Oblivion crossover. So, I guess I should write soon. This is going to be terrible.

4/05/09

Oh my god, I can't get this song out of my head.

Around The Bend - The Asteroids Galaxy Tour

4/04/09

I played Mount & Blade for several hours again today, all while listening to Day & Age more. I've listened to it probably 7 more times today, and I still really like it.

I got the first two discs of Angel S2 today, and before I watched that, I watched the S1 finale. I watched all of the episodes on the first disc, and one on the second, and I really, really like it. I don't know if it's because it still feels "new", but I think I might like Angel better than Buffy (the shows, not the characters (well, maybe the characters, too)), but I don't know. I think after the "new" wears off, I'll love them equally, right up there with Firefly. I wish the mail ran on Sunday, though, because I really want my Buffy DVDs to get here. The estimated delivery date is the 8th, which is this Wednesday. I just hope Amazon keeps up what they've done before and deliver a day or two early. XD

4/03/09

I've been playing Mount & Blade all day (according to Steam, 7.3 hours today), and the whole time, I've been listening to Day & Age. Since I played so long, I listened to it probably 6 times over. I really, really like it, and I think I'd be ready to call it my favorite non-PUSA album ever. The only song I don't really like is Goodnight, Travel Well. I really, really like the songs Losing Touch, Human, Spaceman, Joy Ride, and just about every other song, aside from G,TW.

I would buy the album now, but I just ordered the Buffy Chosen Collection (all 7 seasons) and the Buffy movie from Amazon earlier, and I am completely and totally out of money. I was hoping to get the Angel box set too, but I had to scrounge just to get enough money for what I did get. Oh well, I'm sure it will be more than worth it.

Omegle Chatlog

Connecting to server...
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: eeey
You: hey Fonzie
Stranger: how did you know
You: you're so obvious
You: with that 50's hair
Stranger: i know
Stranger: damn me
You: it's the 80s for crying out loud
Stranger: no way
You: get with the program man
You: radical
Stranger: i wish there was something I could store meat in
You: Freezer?
You: salt?
Stranger: what's that
You: salt?
Stranger: salt?
You: salt?
Stranger: like salt n peppa
Stranger: the trio
You: salt?
You: WAIT
You: Like Fergie?
Stranger: she wasn't in salt n peppa
You: it's all the same thing, man
Stranger: i don't give a hoot one way or another
You: alt?
You: ctrl?
Stranger: i have that button
Stranger: that one too
Stranger: i got an american idol button installed too
Stranger: so i can get my fix whenevz
Stranger: i'm like, shawdy, i wanna watch AI f'shnaize
Stranger: bloop
Stranger: there it is
You: word to the hizzle
Stranger: or bloop, there it goes
Stranger: just like that
You: you weren't there, man
You: YOU WEREN'T THERE
You: it was HELL MAN
Stranger: YES...I was
You: you served in Nam?
Stranger: you can't tell me where I was or wasn't
Stranger: i thought you were talking about mcdonalds last night
You: oh yeah
You: that was a blast
Stranger: for sure
Stranger: the blastest
You: fo shizzle
You: I mean
You: you remember when we ordered those big macs WITHOUT CHEESE?
Stranger: i put so many fries in my undies it was re-DUNK
You: like, ROFL!
Stranger: seriously rolling on floors was happening
You: I know
You: and then they mopped
You: and we were like WOAH
Stranger: i remember when I first say that, ROFL, I was like, dude, what the fuck is wrong with you
Stranger: saw*
You: I know
You: I feel yuou man
Stranger: hopefully not too hard
You: no, no homo
Stranger: or soft...whichever is more awkward
You: hey
You: you know that movie where the guy is like
Stranger: whatsaaw
You: THIS IS SPARTA
Stranger: ummmm
Stranger: tree fitty
You: yeah
You: that one
You: that was awesome
Stranger: yeah
You: and the one with all the gophers on the golf course
Stranger: that movie wasn't a documentary
You: I was like ROFLOL
You: wait
You: what?
Stranger: lol nothin
You: $3.50 was a documentary
You: don't toy with me
You: I was in 'NAM
Stranger: fuck if i know it might be
You: you don't KNOW man
Stranger: my grandpa heard about wwII
You: wow
You: that must have been rough
Stranger: i was like no fucking way grandpa
Stranger: and he was like, yes way you fucking idiot retard
Stranger: and then his lung collapsed
You: wow
You: so
You: you killed him?
You: you kill old people?
You: wwow
Stranger: pretty much
You: just wow
Stranger: i didn't mean to!
You: you should take up a job as an "elderly assassin"
You: except
You: you're not old
You: you just kill old people
Stranger: fuck yeah that would be awesome to go around sniping and knifing old folks
Stranger: i would be awesome at that
You: not sniping
Stranger: who wouldn't be?
You: jsut talking until their lungs explode
Stranger: haha
Stranger: yeah
You: you know
Stranger: cursing up a storm
Stranger: that always gets em
You: make them think you're interested in their shitty lives and then BLAM
Stranger: FUCK YOU MOTHA FUCKAAAAAAAAAAAAA
You: yeah
You: that would do it
You: but only as a last resort
Stranger: yeah
You: you have to be inconspicuous
You: i mean
You: you don't even need a disguise for this job
You: so
You: yeah
You: you want a job?
Stranger: i want to wear one though
You: because my grandma kinda made me mad yesterday
You: and I have like $15 I could give you
Stranger: maybe you should think about this for a couple more days
You: yeah, totally
You: you could have a mustache and everything
Stranger: hold up 15 bucks?
You: yes
Stranger: when where what how when
You: I told you
You: ok
You: she lives in this "old folks home" in west vagina
Stranger: what's his most dispised curse word
You: her
Stranger: ok, her most dispised word
You: and she hates it when I play the song "fat bottom girls" by Queer
You: I mean Queen
Stranger: oooh snap
You: same thing, really
Stranger: yeah
Stranger: but fuck a brick if they can't rock my socks off
You: meh
You: I've heard better
You: wait
Stranger: me too me too
You: do you actually have sex with bricks if you lie about something?
Stranger: i tried once
You: at least it would stay hard
You: LOL
Stranger: haaaa
Stranger: hell yes
Stranger: at least ONE of us would stay hard
Stranger: i always get a limp dick and rub the skin off
Stranger: burn baby burn
You: disco inferno
You: eddie murphy, man
You: yeah
Stranger: eddie murphy hot sauce
Stranger: mild
You: question: eddie murphy or chris rock?
Stranger: hmmm
You: i mean
Stranger: eddie murphy for sure
You: the Rush Hour movies were kinda good
Stranger: what haha
You: but Shrek 3 was terrible
You: I mean
You: they had Justin Timberlake
You: ick
Stranger: which one was in rush hour?
You: Chris rock
Stranger: where
You: with jackie chan
Stranger: you are confusing black comedians
You: the black dude
You: maybe
Stranger: chris tucker
You: oh yeah
You: you're right
You: i meant tucker all along
You: I don't even know who Chris Rock is
You: I mena
Stranger: me either
You: they all look the same to me
Stranger: "chris rock?" "WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT PERVERT?!"
You: yes
Stranger: i saw meet dave
Stranger: with ed murphson
Stranger: that was pretty terrible
You: so, you were like the only person in the theater?
Stranger: no i watched it on dvd with my nephew
You: ah
Stranger: so do you still want me to assassinate your granny?
You: uh
You: nah
Stranger: good
You: I'll just do it myself
You: but I need to go now
You: nice conspiring with you
Stranger: put it on youtube
You: maybe
You: yes
You: I will
You: just search for "HAHAHAHA LOL SHE DED MY GRANNY" in three days
Stranger: don't get caught like the guy torturing the cat though
You: it'll be the top of the list
Stranger: lol
Stranger: alright
You: I won't show my face like "timmy"
You: little shit
You: ok
You: well, I need to go now
You: later
Stranger: see you later

THE STORY OF THE EARTH

The following takes place between the hours of 6:16 PM and 8:29 PM on 3/31/09.

------------

THE STORY OF THE EARTH
written by (in order of appearance) POLKA_DUCK - ACDUDE800 - NAMANERT - SKIPPY_ROCK


Polka_Duck (Polka)
April 1st is the very last day of March this year,

ACDude800 (ACD)
declared President Obama today, during a live conference from the Vatican, during which Pope Joe Biden also said,

namanert (nam)
"It's okay, we're amongst friends!", and then proceeded to break the world record for the most points in a single life on Galaga, while Mr. Sean Connery

ACD
announced that from this point on, every other day is Scottish Day, and that the other days will be dedicated to the respect of Pee-Wee Herman. Herman responded by

nam
showing his rare Silver Charizard to everyone in the audience. "So, Mr. Connery, how about a duel?" he asked. Connery said

ACD
that he couldn't, because his Level 99 Luvdisc had just learned Ultra Surf from watching episodes of Hawaii Five-O, and that it wouldn't be a fair fight. Herman challenged this, and the two eventually engaged in a real fight, which was broken up by Will Wright, who

nam
said "Look who I brought!" and then William Shatner beamed down. Unfortunately, he materialized in the middle of Connery, combining them into every one of the Power Rangers. Then

ACD
the combo was broken. Then the Beetleborgs appeared from a nearby crater, and the Power Rangers were too busy filing a plagiarism lawsuit to defend the planet against the onslaught of giant Japanese robots being piloted by Tim Allen, and

nam
then Richard Karn jumped out of a Bush and went "BOOGABOOGABOOGA" and scared Tim and the Power Rangers. Unfortunately, it was Geroge W. Bush who he jumped out of, so

ACD
Dick Cheney chased after him with a shotgun, vowing revenge. Cheney fired the shotgun, but missed. The bullet ricocheted into a microwave and became radioactive. It entered the body of Napoleon Bonaparte, who developed the power to



nam
see lightning from anywhere in the world. 20 years later, with his superpower, he became the CEO of one of the largest banking companies in the world. The next day, he turned 16, and got stuck by lightning. If only he had seen it coming. At his funeral, his mother, Anne Frank,

ACD
who actually had escaped from the Nazis and published an elaborate cover-up book to prevent that knowledge from falling into the wrong feet, used the power of the Power Rangers and their Zords to revive Napoleon, who, as a side effect of the resurrection, was now joined at the hip to his wife, Josephine. Josephine expressed her dismay at this by

Skippy_Rock (Skippy)
committing suicide. Unwilling to allow the violence to poison the minds of children, Jack Thompson arrived in a taxi and declared that

nam
the letter "e" be banned from every book in Jamaica. In the year 2178, two years after Napoleon's revival, he met Tom Arnold, who did nothing but complain about his fat ex-husband, Rosie O'Donnell. He actually kinda liked her (he still wrote her name all over his binders), he just didn't like having to shave her back every other day. This caused an uproar in the nearby Wal-Mart, because

ACD
Jack Thompson had declared it illegal to purchase new copies of Neverwinter Nights Diamond. BioWare, enraged at this, summoned their Canadian friend Nathan Fillion to throw copies of Mass Effect at Thompson. The Mass Effect boxes

nam
were actually filled with knives, due to a mix-up with Customer Support. Nathan Fillion then called the captain of the Royal Canadian Mounties (all Canadians know each other, so it's okay) to come and arrest Bonaparte, but they accidentally arrested his brother-in-law (by marriage), Napoleon Dynamite. Then, when they got to the police station,

ACD
Doc and Marty broke through the wall of the station in their DeLorean time machine. Doc yelled "Great Scot!" and Sean Connery bowed appreciatively. Then the time machine disappeared, causing the Mounties to reform with the help of Nathan Fillion. They proceeded to the Great Cave of Napoleon, where they discovered Mr. T, currently wanted for the shooting death of J.R. Ewing, and attacked him with

nam
a huge gun that shoots alligators strapped to chainsaws. Mr. T jumped out of the way and did a really cool flip in the air and hid behind a rock, then popped his head out to say "AND DON'T FORGET KIDS, DRINK YO MILK!" A stray chaingator bounced off the wall opposite T, then hit him in the throat as he yelled





ACD
"I PITY THE FOOL" at the top of his lungs. The chaingator was killed instantly by the vibrations of Mr. T's Adam's apple. Having accomplished their mission, Nathan Fillion and the Mounties returned to the local bar to drink beer and watch hockey. Then the real Fillion and the Mounties burst into the pub and yelled, "These stereotypes are imposters!" Then there was a huge

nam
hot-air balloon that carried the entire population of New Mexico across state lines to Alaska. Then, Joss Whedon popped out from the real New Mexico, and said "Fo pos! I wrote that!" and

ACD
the world imploded because that never happened on Buffy, Angel, Firefly, or Dollhouse. This event was dubbed the Second Impact. Six years later, in 2015, a secret organization called SEELE was utilizing another secret organization called NERV to prevent Third Impact by creating an army of

nam
rabid PS3 fanboys. Very zombie-like in appearance, they continuously moaned "bluuuuuuu-RAAAAYYYY" until they devoured their targets from the inside-out with their annoying stares. Then

ACD
the Third Impact did occur. Every PS3 and 360 imploded, leaving gamers the world over with only the Wii to play games on. Fillion, the Power Rangers, and the Mounties (now reformed as Mal and the Power Mounties) attacked the Nintendo base after the successor to Wii Sports, Wii Play, Wii Fit, and Wii Music,

nam
left the company to pursue his modeling career as a drag queen. Three years later in 1989, he died of arm cancer, and created what we now know as Wheat Thins. When he died, he left his entire fortune to his grandmother, Josephine Bonaparte, who told him on his deathbed that his real brother is actually Mr. Bonaparte, and not Sylvester Stallone, as he previously thought. After he died, she

ACD
burned all of his Garbage albums to keep warm, as the "fortune" was actually only one cent. The Killers' albums were next, but the Fourth Impact occured when peanut butter was removed from chocolate. The Fourth Impact looked a lot like this [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5HlJWgBjd1g&feature=related ]but with more

nam
explosions and peanut butterless chocolate. This caused everyone with peanut allergies to kill Steve Ballmer, the man in charge of SEELE. In the dying breath, Steve requested that he be buried at sea like his Norse ancestors. When the time came for him to be buried, he

ACD
was destroyed by Mello, the real leader of SEELE. Mello tossed Ballmer's body into the sky and instituted a new world order where everyone had to have hair like his. [ http://www.freewebs.com/deathnote121/Mello.gif ] Of course, people rebelled against this, and launched a full-scale invasion of NERV, causing the deaths of



nam
nearly everyone in England. The remaining few, after they finished eating their fish 'n' chips, and stopped playing football (really soccer), said to the Queen, "Cheerio, old chaps, would you like a spot of tea?" and then Freddie Mercury replied "No thanks" and then they retrieved the real Queen's body from the freezer where they kept her after she died. Right before she left, she said to Walt Disney, who was also in there,

ACD
"King, whose dreams are buried in your mind, cornfields of popcorn are yet to spring open. The truth is," but Queenie's dialogue was muted. Disney gasped before confidently responding, "Liar." The queen shot Disney and was promptly eaten by the Stay-Puf Marshmallow Man, who then proceeded to

nam
rummage through the Queen's junk drawer in her royal kitchen. "Dangit, there's nothing in here except scissors and plastic jewelry. Where does she keep the

ACD
peanut butter?!" But the Stay-Puf Marshmallow Man was not long for this world. He died suddenly of a heart attack. Mello had written his name in his Death Note, and was therefore pleased with the results. He assumed the position of Big Honkin' King of the World by promising to end world hunger with the Marshmallow Man's remains. Fortunately, his nemesis Near learned of this plan and

nam
set up barriers around Tokyo, where the battle would finally take place for the Fifth Impact pre-game show. The one with the stupid hair finally got a haircut, and then got another Death Note from Calradia, where he met up with Lord Gearth and Lady Brina. After he left the castle, he went to Riverside and said

ACD
"Man, Neo-Riverside 3's a bust. Let's just get to the river." Mello, Gearth, Brina, Mal, and the Power Mounties set off towards the river, but discovered, to their horror, that it was now a river of Tang made from people's brains. They eventually worked out a plan, and that plan was

nam
to gather every astronaut ever (even the Russian ones) to drink up all the Tang. After Lance Armstrong was full, he said "That's how I roll, son." and then ran over people with his moon car. "At least I still have one more!" he said as he left. Then Tanya Harding showed up to the after-party drunk as heck, saying

ACD
"Lol cosmonauts." Then, it was decided that everyone should fly to the moon. In an attempt to do this, everyone yelled the lyrics to "Fly Me to the Moon," causing Frank Sinatra to turn in his grave. He rose from his coffin and prepared a super

nam
laser-powered rifle-powered laser, but before he could even shoot them out of the sky, they fell to the earth. After five years of investigating the mysterious crash, it was discovered that the all died of dehydration, due to there being no more Tang. News reporter Nancy Hicks-Gribble fixed her hair, then proceeded to get ready to inform all of the world of the cause of the accident. She started out fine, until
ACD
the cue cards messed up and she wished Hank good luck with his constipation again. This level of repetition is usually seen on Family Guy instead of King of the Hill, so the entire population of Neo-Arlen 3 gasped when they realized that it was actually Neo-Quahog 3. So, in an attempt to commit suicide, the population of Neo-Quahog 3 launched an all-out assault on Fox's headquarters by

nam
continuing to make new episodes. Then, out of nowhere, Bobby Flay appeared, holding a frying pan. He saw Peter Griffin, and got enraged for some reason, and then he put on a chicken suit and fought Peter for like 5 minutes (which is about 4 and a half minutes too long), then that old guy Conway Twitty started singing, and everyone groaned, because that's an old joke that was never funny in the first place. Seth Green then took a knife to

ACD
everyone except Peter and Christian Bale. Then there was a fight, but Peter and Christian made up and ended up acting as the new Adam and Adam. They adopted children from Mars who repopulated the earth with three-eyed monsters who could also

nam
fight crime and do gymnastics. Then Burt Reynolds messages Dee Reynolds on Facebook saying that he is her paternal uncle, and then they went to his charity event and hit him with a bat and took pictures of him and Danny DeVito standing together. Then it turns out that DeVito was actually

ACD
Burt Reynolds all along. He and Sarah Michelle Gellar entered into a song-and-dance routine, which closed the Berkeley Repertory Theater's production of American Idiot: The Musical. It turns out that replacing Green Day with various pop culture references that make no sense whatsoever actually improved the quality of the production. It sold three tickets to Green Day fans who, to this day, complain about the play on Amazon.com's message boards.

Good night, travel well.

Only just the COOLEST MUSIC VIDEO EVER

Seriously, COOLEST.

3/30/09

The 8 Most Unintentionally Hilarious Amateur Music Videos -- powered by Cracked.com

This is fucking hilarious.

3/29/09

http://intihuatani.usc.edu/cloud/flowing/

Oh my god. I used to hate this game, but now I can't stop playing it.

Review: Audiosurf (PC)

Indie games, at least in my mind, have a pretty bad reputation for being weird just for the sake of being weird. In the pas year or so, however, there has been a large influx of Indie games that have been really, really good. Which category does Audiosurf fall in to? Read more to find out.

Audiosurf is a very unique music/rhythm game, that some have described as F-Zero meets Guitar Hero. You choose from one of 14 ships that all play radically different, choose a song, and then speed down a track, collecting colored blocks. Whenever you get 3 or more blocks of the same color touching, you get points.

The 14 ships each represent a different game mode, and they are all extremely unique. Every ship has one or two special abilities, which are used by clicking the left or right mouse buttons. Some ships can jump over unwanted blocks, while others can push blocks into different columns, making it easier to sort out your colors for maximum points. One mode even has two ships, one of which you control with the mouse, and the other you control with the keyboard.

One of the best things about Audiosurf is the songs. You can play any song you have on your PC, provided that it's the right filetype. This is where I ran into a few problems. You see, I prefer not to get sued by the RIAA, so I buy all my music from iTunes. For some reason, only some of the songs I had bought are compatible with the game, while some are not. I don't know why, as they all came from the same place, and I assume they all have the same DRM. However, I haven't had any problems running songs I had ripped from CDs or anything like that.

Once you find a song that's compatible, that's when the fun starts. As I mentioned, you speed down a track that has been specifically designed for the song you're playing. A slow song will have a pretty straight, uphill track, whereas a fast, energetic song will have lots of curves and will mostly be a fast downhill track. The graphics are pretty simple, but the atmosphere is great. It usually nails the feel of the song perfectly.

Audiosurf surprised me in that it's actually a really unique game, and one that doesn't get as old as I thought it would. Since you can use any song ever created and every song that will ever be created, just like a game like LittleBIGPlanet, you can play forever and theoretically never run out of things to do. 4 out of 5.

I fucking hate Wiis

Oh man, I'm really pissed right now. I just woke up a little while ago, and apparently while I was asleep, my mom went out and bought a Wii. That may not sound bad, but just let me finish. See, I already own a Wii. Well, I paid for half of it, and my brother paid for the other half, and since I have a PC, 360, and PS3, I just let him keep the Wii with him most of the time. We got our Wii after sitting in line for 7 hours on Launch Day, and my mom has played it before and everything. She's never even seemed interested in it until recently.

See, about a month ago, my sister had a friend over for a sleepover, and her friend's mom and my mom were good friends about two years ago when we still lived in Kentucky. When they came over, the friend's mom (we'll call her Jennifer) started talking about how much she liked her new Wii and how Wii Fit and (gasp) My Fitness Instructor helped her lose all of 3 pounds. The thing is, Jennifer (and everybody besides myself, really) knows nothing about games, and so I was saying how it doesn't help much of anything, etc.

Well, ever since then, my mom has talked about getting a Wii, even though I kept telling her that it doesn't help, the novelty wears off all to quickly, and basically trying to talk her out of getting a Wii, because it's a huge waste of $250, and even when Mason brings our Wii over here, she never touches it.

I thought she had just forgotten about it all, and moved on, but apparently not. See, though, this isn't even the worst part. Next to the Wii box was the box for something even worse entirely: a DDR game. I just about shot myself right then. Not only had she gotten a Wii despite my warnings, she had also bought a DDR game. This pisses me off even more, because we had the Mario version of DDR for the Gamecube a few years ago, she played it once, said she didn't like it and moved on.

Maybe I'm just being an asshole, I don't know. It just pisses me off that she would go out and waste $300+ for something that I have been trying to tell her not to get. You know, she doesn't often respect my opinion on things (in her defense, though, I'm usually wrong), but it really makes me mad that she doesn't listen to me about the ONE THING that I really know about. Agh.

WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED

I just changed the entire look of my blog. Maybe I did it because I'm tired as hell right now, I don't know. Either way, it's changed. I think I kinda like it. The format is way different than it used to be, and I still used a template, but I did change the colors. I think it looks okay. Just one problem. My posts are now super-wide, so it makes my already short posts look super-short. Oh well.

3/25/09

http://kotaku.com/5183937/see-nintendo-demonstrate-rock-n-roll-climber

Come on, Nintendo. Really? Really? I have really lost faith in Nintendo lately, and this is a prime example as to why.

3/24/09

You know what really pisses me off? These idiots who try to bad videogames to violent acts. Like, for instance, the Viginia Tech shootings a few years ago. At one point, they were trying to link the shooting to his playing of Counter-Strike. It just pisses me off that they ignore the millions of people who have played the game and haven't cracked and shot 30 people, but go for the one who has, and then blame it on the game. Videogames are a possible factor in what happened, but what we know happened was that the guy used real guns, which brings me to my point. We need stricter gun-control laws or something. The media needs to stop going for videogames, which have never been proven to send someone over the edge, and go for the constant in all of these shootings. Guns. You know, I don't know a thing about guns or the laws surrounding them, I just know the media needs to get their heads out of their asses, stop speculating, and go for what we KNOW was a factor in these shootings.

My CD/DVD Drive Stopped Working

I went to put in a Buffy DVD earlier, and once I put it in, I waited, waited... waited... and nothing happened, so I opened up Windows Media Center to manually start the DVD, but it gave me an error, saying that it didn't detect anything in the drive. That kinda pissed me off, not only because my DVD drive stopped working, but because it suddenly stopped working for no reason when it worked just yesterday.

I then set off on my 20-minute journey to figure out what the fuck happened, and I figured I'd post what I had to do to fix it, just in case anyone else needs help or in case it happens to me again.

So if anyone else has an HL-DT-ST DVDRAM GH15F DVD drive that just stops working, maybe this will show up in the search engines whenever someone searches for HL-DT-ST DVDRAM GH15F Not Responding, or something to that effect.

Anyway, I Googled HL-DT-ST DVDRAM GH15F, and I found this, which had the answer. Luckily for you, I'm just going to post the step-by-step instructions from that thread, so you don't have to weed through the (3) posts to find them on that page.

hello i got a new gateway today that had the exact same problem and the fix is pretty easy the people at the gateway online support knew just what to do

Ted_GWER4315 says: 1. Open the Window Logo then on the "Start Search" type Regedit.

Ted_GWER4315 says: 2.Using the Registry Editor: - Click on the [>] sign to the left of "HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE". - Continue clicking the [>] sign to the left of the following folders in this order: SYSTEM > CurrentControlSet > Control > Class 3. The next folder we are going to actually highlight instead of clicking on the [>] sign. You will notice that these folders are not named, but instead contain a series of letters and numbers. The one we are looking for is called "{4D36E965-E325-11CE-BFC1-08002BE10318}". When you find it, single-click on the folder to highlight it and then proceed with the instructions below.

Ted_GWER4315 says: 4. Removing the Problem: - Look on right-hand side of the window for an icon called "Upperfilters" and/or "Lowerfilters". - Right-click on it and select "Delete" from the popup menu. - Repeat the same procedure until both "Upperfilters" and "Lowerfilters" have been removed. 5. Saving Your Changes: - Exit any/all open programs.

Ted_GWER4315 says: 6. Go to the Device Manager, Under the DVD drive, right click on the DVD driver then choose uninstall. To open the device manager: (Open the Window Logo then on the "Start Search" type Device Manager). 7. Then Close the Device Manager. 8. Restart the computer so that the changes will take effect.

hope this helps you it helped me

03/22/09

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iOpiy1XgfHs&feature=email

This is the music video for Spaceman by The Killers. It's a great song, and ACD knew I liked it, so he sent me the video for it. My response: "what the fuck is that"

Sick Again/Strange Dream #10

Well, I was sick again this morning. See, after I got over all that shit last week, Mallory got sick with something else entirely (vomiting and diarrhea, mostly), then passed it on to my mom, who passed it on to Mason, who apparently passed it on to me.

Anyway, around 8 AM this morning, after my stomach feeling weird all night, I finally decided to just puke and get it over with. I went to the bathroom, sat in the floor and got into position, and waited. It didn't take long before three huge brown gushes of Philly Cheese Steak pizza from the night before came up. Oh, and remember the aforementioned diarrhea? Yeah, I learned something today. Apparently, when you vomit, you lose control of your bowels for a split-second.

Anyway, after I finished puking, I was really tired, so I got in the bed and tried to sleep. A little while later, while I was nearly asleep, my mom came in my room for something and woke me up, which was apparently a good thing, because I don't think I would've remembered my weird dream if I hadn't woken up. Since I was only half-asleep, it was a short one, but a weird one nonetheless.

In the dream, I was watching The Price is Right, which is weird enough in itself, but that's not the point. The point is that in my dream version of TPiR, all of the contestants were babies. As in infants. And then I woke up.

How Mice Work

http://www.webworksllc.com/How_Mice_Work.cfm

3/19/09

I bought Audiosurf the other day. I like it okay so far, but it just kinda seems like a one-trick-pony, despite having something like 14 different modes.

3/18/09

Well, my hand is better for the most part. I poured peroxide on it last night and it scabbed over and hasn't threatened to bleed or anything, so I think I'll live this time.

I have been watching Buffy and Angel all night. I got my Buffy s4 disc in the mail today, and apparently there are some crossovers in Buffy s4 and Angel s1, so I finally got to watch Angel tonight, too. I watched 4 episodes of Buffy, and 4 of Angel, and I still wanted more, which I'll get to in a minute.

One thing, though. The Buffy disc kinda screwed me over. There are usually four episodes on a disc, and the four episode titles are all in the corners of the screen. On the s3 discs, the first episode would be in the top-left of the screen, the second would be in the top-right, third would be in the bottom-left, and the fourth episode would be in the bottom-right. Well, apparently this is different for s4, because they switched the second and third episodes on the title screen, so I accidentally watched episodes 1, 3, 2 and 4, in that order, thanks to the switch-up. Thankfully, since I watched them all within a few hours, it didn't really mess me up or anything.

I actually alternated watching Buffy and Angel (I watched episode 1 of Buffy, the ep1 of Angel, etc., except for the aforementioned switching), and so far I really like Angel. It actually feels a little bit like Dollhouse, with the wide city shots and everything. I have to admit, I was disappointed seeing both Angel AND Cordelia leave Buffy, but I'm glad that they didn't leave for good and they're still in the Buffyverse.

Aaaaaanyway, I'll talk about the "and more" thing I mentioned. I just bought the Buffy soundtrack. Not the score, but the soundtrack. I was really only wanting the theme song, but I could only find the soundtrack available for digital download (I don't like to wait for physical copies of anything - that's why I love Steam) on Napster (the legal one), and I could only buy the whole album, so I went ahead and bought it because it was only like $10 for 18 songs. I haven't listened to all of it yet, but most of it seems good. I'm just glad there wasn't any Cibo Matto on it. AND HOLY SHIT THIS IS OFF-TOPIC BUT I JUST SMELLED A NEW CAR. Seriously, I was sitting here typing, and I just all the sudden smelled that new-car smell. What the fuck.

3/17/09

My hand hurts. I just got back from my grandma's house, where I was helping my mom and my aunt move a dryer. You see, my grandma's house (well, at least where she keeps her washer and dryer) is pretty narrow. So narrow, in fact, that some dryers can't fit. This forced me, my mom, and my aunt to try and lift a dryer over the edge of the counter that was blocking us by like, an inch, and while I was lifting, I accidentally cut my hand on the big pipe on the back that the air comes in from. It's not a big cut, just half-an-inch or so, and it was one of those weird cuts that doesn't really hurt and never bled much, so I'm okay. I just don't want it to split open or anything and start bleeding.

3/16/09

Oh my god. I can't stop playing Burnout. Tonight I finally found and smashed all 400 gates, busted all 120 billboards, and found all 50 Super Jumps, and got really cool cars for doing said tasks.

3/15/09

I'm not sick any more, thank god.

I went to the doctor last week when my voice was still gone, and asked "When I'm better will I be able to sing like Steven Tyler?" and he said "Yes." "Good," I said "because I couldn't before."

Just kidding, I never went to the doctor.

If I was a robot, would you love me anymore?

I can't stop listening to this song. I wish Burnout Paradise supported custom music. Argh.

Shotgun - The Outline

3/13/09

hey you know what bitch i don't like you anymore

If you couldn't tell, I haven't had anything to blog about for like, two weeks. Oh, well, at least tomorrow is Pi Day.

3/12/09

I just bought Burnout Paradise for PC. I've played a little bit of it, and so far I really like it.

Man, I need to stop using Twitter so much it's making my regular blog posts super-short.

I wrote a song

well, part of a song

and the dogs just keep TUMBLING and FUMBLING and RUMBLING through my heeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaad

3/10/09

http://video.stumbleupon.com/#p=1884px0qtk

3/09/09

http://blog.jasoncissell.com/wp-images/moms_minivan.jpg

3/08/09

http://www.partiallyclips.com/storage/20070424_Ladybugs_lg.png

This guy is so cool

3/06/09

Last night, we did end up going to the bookstore, and while we were there, I finally bought Watchmen. I like it so far, but I haven't really read much of it. I do, however, already have a favorite line from it.

"Meeting with Veidt left bad taste in mouth. He is pampered and decadent, betraying even his own shallow, liberal affections.

Possibly homosexual? Must remember to investigate further."

3/05/09

Bleh, Mallory has to go to the orthodontist today, and since we go to one that's like, two hours away, I have to go. Good thing is, there's a Books-a-Million in between here and there, and we usually stop there. Also, I still can't stop coughing.

CAN'T. STOP. COUGHING.

Well, I feel somewhat better than I did, but just today I've started coughing up all kinds of shit (not literally).

I'm still sick

I woke up just a few minutes ago. I still feel pretty bad. I still have a headache. My throat is still pretty sore, although not as bad as it was. I'm still pretty dizzy when I stand up. I still feel pretty weak. On top of all that, I seem to have lost my voice.

Anyway, ACD, if you're reading this, then even if I'm on tonight, there's a good chance that I won't be able to use voicechat.

UPDATE: I just coughed up a big wad of something green, and I can breathe a little better, and I can almost talk.

I'm Sick

I do not feel well at all. I woke up yesterday with a really sore throat, but it got better after a while, so I didn't think anything about it. I woke up today with a really sore throat, a terrible headache, and my right arm was hurting, but just because I slept on it wrong. Anyway, I took some off-brand Tylenol and drank some water, and I felt better for a while, but now I just feel like crap again. I'm going to go get some more medicine.

ACD, if you're reading this, I may not be online tonight, because I may be sleeping or something.

FUCK YEAH

NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

2/28/09

Here's a video showing the differences in Dead Rising for the 360, and Dead Rising: Chop 'Til You Drop for the Wii. I'm glad I have the 360 version.

http://www.gametrailers.com/player/46164.html

How To Break Up a Cat Fight

2/26/09

do do doo doo do do doo do do doo do do do do dooooooo
and i'm hungry like the wooooooooooolf

yatta

2/24/09

You know, I can't decide what apocalypse is going to happen first. There are several probable choices:

Zombies
Robots
Velociraptors
Aliens
Vampires

Ok, so I highly doubt that velociraptors will actually come out of nowhere and start attacking for no reason, so that's out of the question.

Aliens, I don't know. I guess it's a fairly high probability. I just hope it's cool aliens like an all-female race, like the Asari, and not something like the stupid Krogans or Klingon (don't get me wrong, I like Klingons, I just don't think a full-on Klingon apocalypse would be very cool. Although, Bat'leths are pretty cool. That would be cool for that to be the last thing I see before I die.)

Robots would be another probable cause of another apocalypse, but I don't think that they'll be the first. I think something like Zombies or Vampires, even, would come first. I mean, Robots are getting pretty advanced, like one time I saw a video on YouTube of a robotic snake that climbed a pole, and just yesterday (or maybe it was the day before) I saw this video:

That's pretty scary.

I'm not sure what to think about Vampires yet. I'm only on Season 3 of Buffy.

Honestly, I think Zombies are going to be the first downfall of mankind. I read this one time where they actually found a virus that zombifies you, and I also read about a bunch of recorded attacks.

So yeah, I think that the apocalypses will be in this order: Zombie-Alien-Robot-Vampire-Velociraptor. Care to argue?

2/23/09

WTF

I just found out that the song Pinball Wizard by The Who is talking about a deaf, dumb and blind kid who plays pinball by smelling stuff.

OSHI-- I also just realized I missed my 200th post. Oh, well.

2/22/09

2/21/09

I bought Flower today from the PlayStation Store. It's pretty good, but way too short. I already beat it. I'm probably going to play it some more, then I might review it. I don't know yet.

Review: NOBY NOBY BOY (PSN)

I've seen things you wouldn't believe.

The latest game from Keita Takahashi, creator of the Katamari Damacy games, comes NOBY NOBY BOY, and it's like nothing I've ever seen. You play as BOY, a strange character, to say the least. By default, he's a small, pink, four-legged... something or other. You control the front end with the Left Stick, and the rear end with the Right Stick. By moving the ends away from each other, BOY will get longer and more centipede-like. That's just about all there is to the game. You are told at the beginning of the game that there are no objectives, no enemies, just BOY and GIRL (more on her in a minute). Much like a few of the other games on PSN, NOBY is an experiment. The thing that separates NOBY from all of the other experimental games is that it works. Just like Katamari, NOBY is very quirky, strange, and brilliant.

When you start a game, You are sent to a randomly generated map, a fairly small chunk of floating land. Since the levels are randomly generated, you will run into some really weird things, like maybe a map full of giant frogs and floating sharks, a planet with nothing but goths, or a map with a mummy driving a monster truck (I swear, those all happened to me). Also in the maps are objects which you can interact with, like arches that you can wrap yourself around, or windmills, which really make for some good fun (imagine sticking a piece of string into a fan), and even the clouds are donut-shaped.

Along with just walking around on the ground, BOY has a few "abilities", and I use that word very loosely. BOY can fly in a floaty, very Kirby-like way, allowing you to get to things up in the sky, like the neat-looking clouds. Next, BOY can swallow people, animals, and objects, again, much like Kirby. If BOY is in his default tiny form, when he eats something, he automatically... disposes of it. Through his ass. If he is long, however, he can swallow several things at a time, and they will appear as lumps in his body. Picture a snake that just swallowed a rabbit. It looks exactly like that.

One of the things that makes NOBY so entertaining is the AI. People and animals will move throughout the maps, maybe by walking, driving, flying, or whatever. If you don't move BOY for a minute or two, AI will take over, and even he will begin walking through the level, knocking over people on bikes, and scaring chickens, and other weird things. If, when you're controlling BOY, you move him next to a person or animal, they will sometimes jump on his back and start riding, and sometimes, an AI controlled person will randomly jump on the back of an animal.

Another of the things that makes NOBY so great is that the game keeps up with your stats, like how long you are, how long you have been, and how long you have been altogether, with all your lengths added together. If you want to be a team player and help out the NOBY community, you can report your length to GIRL, who grows accordingly to the length you reported. The cool part is that everyone who reports to GIRL gets their length added, so everyone is constantly making GIRL longer. When GIRL gets long enough to reach the Moon, then everyone in the world actually gets new maps set on the moon, complete with new objects and AI controlled beings. This is a really cool way to get everyone in the world to work together to get new content for the game. As of this writing, nearly 7,000 people have contributed over 81.2 million meters to GIRL.

The last of my favorite features is the connectivity with YouTube. Users can record in-game footage with the built-in recorder, and the upload directly to YouTube to show all your friends how you can tie yourself into knots. You can also take in-game screenshots, which is a pretty neat feature.

As awesome as the gameplay is, I have a few minor gripes, mainly about the rather confusing controls. Making BOY move is easy enough, but you have to tap L2 or R2 to jump, hold L2 in about halfway to open your mouth to eat, hold L2 or R2 to anchor yourself, and repeatedly tap L2 and R2 to fly. That's just BOY. The camera is also pretty hard to control. You have to hold L1 and tilt the controller forward and backwards using the PS3's Sixaxis to zoom the camera, and hold L1 and R1 and tilt the controller to have full control of the camera. As confusing as all this sounds, the controls can be learned in just a little while, it just takes a while to get the hang of it.

NOBY NOBY BOY is a great game. It's one of the very few experimental games that really works. I wish developers would take a good look at NOBY, and start trying new and outlandish things. The videogame industry needs more ambitious titles like NOBY. Meanwhile, NOBY is only $5 in the PlayStation Store, so if you like fun, weird, quirky games, then definitely check this out. Or if you just like playing games that look like you're on Acid. Either way, check it out. 5 out of 5.

I just don't get it.

Why is The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time so fucking popular? I mean, I've never really liked any of the Zelda games, but it nearly infuriates me to keep hearing about this game when nobody ever says why it's so great. I've played several Zelda games (Twilight Princess, OoT Master Edition or whatever the GC port was called, LttP, TLoZ on the NES, Wind Waker, and a Zelda game my friend had on one of the really old Gameboys) hoping I would finally get into the series, but I've just never liked them.

I guess one reason I don't like them is because there's no coherent "storyline" to speak of. It's just the same story told over and over in every game with something a little different thrown in, like the Wolf for TP, or that hat that shrinks you or whatever. Every time Link is told that he has to rid the world of evil, he's like "Ganon, who's that?" or "Zelda, who's that?". If he had really been saving that bitches ass for 20 years, don't you think he'd at least remember her name? I know he doesn't talk, but that must be what's going through his head.

Anyway, back to OoT. WHY THE FUCK IS IT SO FUCKING POPULAR? Honestly, out of the several Zelda games I've played, this one seems to be one of the worst. I know it's a 10+ year old game, so I'll excuse the graphics, but that doesn't mean the controls have any right to suck.

Eh, fuck it. I forgot what point I was trying to make. I think it was something about how I've heard how terribly hard the Water Temple is.

2/18/09

I've been watching the bonus features on my Serenity DVD today. Even though I watched most of the stuff, there's still a ton to watch, so I'll be up all night doing that.

BAH. I wish my Buffy S3 disc would come in from Netflix. Also, I pre-ordered the Lost & Damned GTAIV expansion while under the impression that Amazon would just e-mail me the download code, but nooooooooo. They decided to send me a piece of paper in the mail with the code on it, along with some poster and a 3 month Xbox Live Gold membership card. Gah, I wish it would get here.

2/17/09

Well, I finished the second season of Buffy just a little while ago. The first season was good, but Season 2 was a lot better, and my two favorite episodes were both in S2 ("Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered" was my favorite, and I think that "Passion" was the best). Anyway, I started watching the commentary on my new Firefly DVDs. I've watched two so far, and both of them are really interesting.

YES YES YES

Last week, I ordered a bunch of stuff from Amazon, and it got here today, a day early, and all in one appropriately-sized box! I got Firefly: The Complete Series on DVD, the Serenity Collector's Edition on DVD, and the two Serenity "graphic novels" (comic books). I is one excited person.

2/15/09

HEE HEE HOOOOO
HEE HEE HOOOOO

Falentynes Dae

Bleh.

Anyway.

I've really gotten into Twitter lately, posting to it several times a day. Anyway, I'm getting ready to watch Dollhouse, and I'll probably Tweet while I do.

2/13/09

I've been watching a lot of Buffy. I think I'm up to episode 8. It's not as good as Firefly yet, but it's entertaining nonetheless.

2/12/09

I finished watching the last of Firefly today. Absolutely fantastic. I then started to add Serenity to my mom's Netflix queue, but noticed that it could be streamed to my 360. FUCK YEAH. I watched it. It fucking kicked ass. I'm probably going to start watching the first (few?) episode(s?) of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, and I might even post to my Twitter while I watch, like last time.

Also, I think I need to start labeling my more nonsensical posts. I don't even remember what this quote is from.

2/11/09

Holy shit I like Firefly. I'm getting ready to watch the Tenth episode. I can't believe those dicks at Fox canceled this shit.

2/10/09

It's late, none of my friends are online, and I'm not tired enough to sleep. Therefore, I have decided to watch at least the first episode of Firefly. Check my Twitter, as I'll be posting to it while I watch.

2/09/09

"you cut me off again and I'll go curtsy on your ass."

2/08/09

dun dun duh duh duh doo doo
TACO WAGON

2/7/09

I did NOT sleep well last night. I was up until like, 2 AM anyway, but I couldn't get to sleep. I started feeling sick and my mind started racing. I was just thinking about what's going to happen within the next few years.
I don't want to have to get my driver's license.
I don't want to have to go through my first car accident.
I don't want to have to write up my resume.
I don't want to have to go to a job interview.
I don't want to have to get a girlfriend.
I don't want to have to go to a job.
I don't want to have to go to a job every day.
I don't want to have to break up with anyone.
I don't want to have to date for a year or two with the same person before I know if she's someone I'm supposed to marry.
I don't want to have to get married.
I don't want to have to move out.
I don't want to have to pay my own bills.
I don't want to have to have kids.
I don't want to have to have family members die.
I don't want to have to go to funerals of my family members.
I don't want to have to dress my kids up is ugly tuxedos and dresses to go to funerals.
I don't want to have to pay my kids' bills.
I don't want to have to send my kids to school or homeschool them.
I don't want to have to pay for my kids' doctor/dentistry bills.
I don't want to have to watch my kids get driver's licenses.
I don't want to have to watch my kids have their first car accident.
I don't want to have to watch my kids start dating.
I don't want to have to watch my kids break up with anyone.
I don't want to have to get old.
I don't want to have to die.

But you know what? I have to. There's no escaping life. For years now, I just haven't really thought about any of this. I didn't want to have to think about any of this, but now I do. I only have two and a half years before I turn 18, and I'll have to move out, get a job, etc. Real life isn't like TV or videogames where I can do anything I want at any time. I don't want to have to do a lot of things, but I'll have to, and I hate it. Sure, I could always commit suicide or something, but that's just stupid, and I care about my family too much to put them through all that.

I layed (lied?) in bed for over an hour last night, with all that going through my head before I finally passed out. I even had to turn my ceiling fan on, which I've never had to do before. I think I might be sick or something.

Holy Shit That's Creepy

Fallout 3: Alien Ship, Alien Blaster Location

While wandering the Wastelands today, I finally found the fabled crash-landed alien ship, as well as the dead alien's blaster.

 

If you look really hard, you can see the dead alien right in front of the cockpit. Here's the location of the crash site:

 

2/04/09

http://buttersafe.com/2008/06/12/ducks/

StumbleUpon v1.0 (c. 1998)

I just accidentally the whole bottle

http://www.sfwchan.com/pics/84829693.jpg

2/01/09

I thrive on obsession. I need numbers.

I just read through the entire xkcd archives today. A short but sweet obsession. Yesterday, I read all of the Ask John Anything blog, and about a month ago, I spent a week reading through all of the Penny Arcade comics. Same with Good Times Comics.

Anyway.

I need an obsession. A short obsession.

I need numbers. I need statistics. I need math.

I don't know what brought this all on, but something did.

P.S. This Drinky Crow Show is really bad.

Why Can't I Be a Squidget?

Seriously, why are there so few games that just let you be a nobody? You're always some huge war hero or something. Sometimes, I just want to be a redshirt, and there are very few games I can think of that let you do that (Battlefield, and uhh...). I just wish there were less Master Chiefs and Nathan Hales and more Medic #33s and Combine Soldier #336s.

1/30/09

i'm sailing away
set an open course for the virgin sea
cause i've got to be free
free to face the life that's ahead of me
i'm bored i'm a captain
so climb aboard
we'll search for tomorrow
and every shore

and i'll try
oh lord
i'll try
to caaaaaaaaaaaaaarry oooooooooooooooooooooooooon

i look to the seeeeeeeeeeeeeeea
reflections in the waves
spark my memory
soooooome happy some sad
i think of tathered friends
and the dreams we had
we lived happily forever
so the story gooooes
but somehow we missed out
on the pot of goooold
but we'll try best ad we can
to caaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarry on

a gathering of angels
appeared above my head
they sang to me this song of hope
and this is what they said
they said "come sail away come sail away come sail away with me, lads
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me, baby
come sail away come sail away come sail away with meeeeeeeeeeee"

(boop beep boo boop boo beep boo boop)

i thought that they were angels
but come to my surprise
i climbed aboard their starship and headed for the skieeeees

"come sail away come sail away come sail away with me, lads
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me
come sail away come sail away come sail away with me" (fade out)

Strange Dream #10

Yet another strange dream last night. I was in a house that I've never seen before, but I think I was in Florida or something, because I was also in a bathing suit. Anyway, I don't remember much about the first part, but I do remember my big toe hurting, and I just ignored it. Later, I decided to look at it, and there was a green-ish spot to the right of my toenail. I tried to pop it like a zit or something, and the tiny black thing poked out. I looked away for a second, and when I looked back, the black thing was now about half an inch long. It scared the shit out of me, and I pulled the rest out, and, well, this is what it looked like:

It was completely black, and it was around 3 inches long, and the top two inches were some sort of tentacle (the lines on the plastic base are where it was rigid, like a bottlecap or the sides of a quarter). A moving, living tentacle. It was disgusting. I kept yelling "HOLY SHIT", and then I stood up and...poop...ran down my leg out of my bathing suit, and then I said "Yeah, there it is". I started running to the bathroom, but I chose to go to the carpeted bathroom for some reason, so I was tracking shit all the way through the house and over carpet. Such a weird dream.

Review: Mass Effect (PC)

Unlike just about anyone who ever owned an Xbox, I never played Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic much. I had also never played any game from developer BioWare, and I've never much been into RPGs. The last RPG that I can remember really, really being into was Fable. Well, that was until I played Mass Effect.

It is the year 2148. You are Commander Shepard of the Normandy, one of the largest, fastest, and most powerful ships in the Alliance fleet. You are sent to Eden Prime to investigate a mysterious Beacon, and the story takes off from there, I just don't want to spoil it. It really is a fantastic story. One of the coolest parts is that you can set your character's backstory in the extensive character creator. You can choose from things like being a War Hero, to a Sole Survivor of an epic battle. It doesn't really change anything except for maybe a few conversations scattered throughout the game, but it adds an extra layer to your character, which is nice.

Along with choosing your backstory in the character creator, you can also, duh, create a character. It can be either a male or female, and you can choose from several different classes, although you can't choose to play as another race, you have to be human. Honestly, though, with all of the other choices, it doesn't really make that much of a difference.

Through your travels, you will happen upon some NPCs, who, for different reasons, will join your crew. These are characters who you can take out with you, up to two at a time, on missions to help you, so you will be spending a lot of time with them. I became very, very attached to these characters, and it hurt when I had to decide the fate of some or more of them. There are very few games that actually make me have feelings for and sympathize with characters, but Mass Effect did it perfectly.

Like I said, I owned KotOR, but never really played it much. I just couldn't get into it very much, and the combat was one of the biggest reasons as to why. I never liked how it wasn't real-time, and your just sat and watched most of the time. Luckily for me, Mass Effect is nothing like that. The combat in ME is all played out in real-time, and it's not just your stats that decide if you will come out victorious. Since it's a shooter, it actually requires some bit of skill on the player's part, which I really liked. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to be the best Call of Duty 4 player to be able to play ME, but it's not passive like KotOR was.

Along with your regular guns, you also have Biotic powers to manipulate your enemies, such as Throw, Lift, and Warp. While fighting, you can hold the spacebar to bring up a menu of sorts to pause the game, and from here, you can pick your target, choose a Biotic power, and when you release the spacebar, your character and/or squad will carry out the action. You can also control your squadmates to an extent, not unlike Rainbow Six, but I can't remember one time where I really used this funtion.

I've talked so much about the shooter aspects, but I can't forget the RPG/exploration side. Just like any other RPG, you kill enemies, gain EXP, level up, invest Skill Points in your class-based skills, basically just typical RPG stuff. The exploration, though, is something else entirely. Using the Normandy, you can explore the galaxy, moving from solar system to solar system, finding resources, doing sidequests, and, well, exploring. Some planets will even let your land with the Mako, your land rover, so you can explore the galaxy, as well as some of the planets. One of my favorite sidequests is one that takes place on Luna, Earth's moon, just because it's so awesome.

The sound in Mass Effect is fantastic. There are so many talking characters, several different alien races, and I can't remember any of them sounding alike. There are so many recorded lines in this game, it's unbelievable, and on top of that, many of them were rerecorded for if you chose to play as a female. All of the lines feel very real and natural, which is very good for a story-driven game like this. The electronic music sounds just like something out of an old 70's/80's Sci-Fi movie, and always seems to set the appropriate mood.

Even while I think this game is fantastic, there are a few problems, even though they're fairly minor. First, is that while the graphics look great 99% of the time, in the close-up shots, some of the textures look very blurry. Second, there's no Anti-Aliasing. This just doesn't seem right for a PC game nowadays. Third, and this is a very rare glitch that I only experienced 3 times in my 30+ hours of play, is that sometimes when I hit the Quicksave button, it would crash the game. Again, it only happened 3 times, but it was frustrating nonetheless. Lastly, some of the sidequests feel a little repetitive. Most of them are of the "go down to a planet, find the base, kill everyone in said base, exit" variety. All of those can be overlooked very easily, even if they are semi-annoying.

Actually, I do have one more problem (and this is probably the biggest problem). The game just feels too short. Sure, it took me 25+ hours on my first playthough, but it was so awesome that it felt like 3. Thankfully, the game offers extreme replayability, because you can go back through with another class, make different choices, try to go to every planet, etc. The added achievements are nice, too.

Mass Effect is an amazing game, and one that every RPG fan/Sci-Fi Lover/Self-respecting individual should play. The story is brilliantly written, all of the voice acting is prefectly executed (although hearing Seth Green was a little weird, but only because I wasn't expecting it.), and both the RPG and shooter elements work fantastically. 5 out of 5.

1/25/09

HO
LY
SHIT
I just beat Mass Effect. This is now one of my favorite games of all time. It's just so awesome. I think I'm going to write a review tomorrow.

WTF, Mario?

We were going to my dad's house the other day to get some of my mom's old furniture, and Mason decided to come down and stay with us for a little while. That night, Mason wanted to play the NES, so after I got it hooked up, he popped in Super Mario Bros. Apparently, it was messed up. I've never seen it do this. Even after I blew my entire right lung into the cartridge, it was still being weird.

1/24/09

a shickety bee a bob a doo be bob a dob a dee dow yeeeeeeeaaaaaah

1/23/09

I bought Mass Effect today. I wonder how it'll be.

Amazon.com: Fuck the environment!

I ordered some stuff from Amazon the other day for an upcoming art project I'm thinking of doing. Well, one of my orders came in yesterday (the black spots are where my address was).I opened it up:


Hmm...something seems wrong here, doesn't it? Let's keep going.Yes. That's all that was in there. Two packages of double-stick tape. Well, that, and the giant bubblewrap and a sheet of paper with my order on it. Seriously, Amazon?

Note: Sorry about the low-res images. I took the photos with my iPhone.

Review: LittleBIGPlanet (PS3)

LittleBIGPlanet may be the first official entry from Media Molecule, creators of Rag Doll Kung Fu, into the videogame world, but don't let Rag Doll Kung Fu's "meh-ness" fool you. LittleBIGPlanet is worth your time and money in every way possible. Also: Sackboy is freaking awesome.

The PS3 may not have a ton of standout games, but LittleBIGPlanet is one of the few games that is universally loved. This adorable platformer is probably the most charming game I've ever played. Beyond that, it's boasts the most robust and easy-to-use level designer I've ever seen.

With 8 different worlds with several levels in each world, the story mode is also very diverse, but the cool part is that every level in the story mode was made with the aforementioned level editor, so anything you see in the story mode can be created in the level editor.

Like I said, the level editor is extremely easy to use. It has a ton of tools to use, and a tutorial video for every tool. There are tutorials on how to create most basic things, like enemies, vehicles, and basic levels, and after that, you pretty much know enough that you can create anything you want. You can use any of the 8 environments unlocked in the story as a backdrop for your level, and there are stickers, items, clothes, materials, and more to unlock in the story levels. You can change the lighting, camera angles, text, music, and just about everything else in your level to set the perfect mood for whatever the situation.

Even though the story mode only clocks in at round 10 hours, there's also the user-created levels. I'm not sure if I have ever seen a community as creative as the one for LBP. I've seen levels for Metal Gear Solid, Pac Man, Super Mario Bros., Grand Theft Auto, Donkey Kong, and just about any other classic franchise, all created by the LBP community with the level editor. It's not just levels based on things, either. I've seen a working basketball court, a construction zone where you can control several vehicles (bulldozer, wrecking ball, etc.), a level based on the TV show Ninja Warrior, and several other fantastically creative scenarios.

The game is also freaking GORGEOUS. The graphics would make even Pixar jealous, and the art direction is absolutely superb, adding the perfect feel to the game. The soundtrack is good, although sometimes it seems like you keep hearing the same songs over and over.

LittleBIGPlanet is a fantastic game, and one that deserves to be in any PS3 owner's library, because even though the story is pretty short, with the level editor and other user-created levels, you could theoretically play forever and never play the same level twice. 5 out of 5.

1/20/09

Bush = out
Obama = in
here's a picture of a cat in a shirt pocket.

1.06565 PPH

I noticed a little over a week ago that I was peeing an awful lot. I've been taking data for a week. I've been keeping track of how long I've been awake, and how many times a day I pee. Without further ado, the results:

Day 1 / Monday:
Awake: 7:30 AM - 1 AM
PPD (Pees Per Day): 23 (!)

Day 2 / Tuesday:
Awake: 11 AM - 2 AM
PPD: 15

Day 3 / Wednesday:
Awake: 11 AM - 2 AM
PPD: 12

Day 4 / Thursday:
Awake: 12 PM - 1 AM
PPD: 12

Day 5 / Friday:
Awake: 12:30 PM - 1 AM
PPD: 13

Day 6 / Saturday:
Awake: 12:30 PM - 3 AM
PPD: 8

Day 7 / Sunday:
Awake: 1 PM - 3 AM
PPD: 18

So, added up, that's 99 times peeing in 7 days, and 105.5 hours awake. If you divide 99 by 7, you get 14.14285. If you divide 105.5 by 7, you get 15.07142. If you divide 15.07142 by 14.14285, you get 1.06565. That means I pee, on average, 1.06565 times per hour. Doesn't that seem like a lot to anyone but me?

1/18/09

I'm unveiling something big tomorrow.

1/17/09

let's just call this a "post-letting-go-how's-it-going" kinda call

I Am Prepared

I got a book Tuesday on the way back from the dentist - The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks. So far it's very informative. It has made me realize that I need to work on my hand-to-hand combat and get a crowbar or a military-style machete (although I prefer a crowbar, because I could just impale, as opposed to decapitation. Plus, Gordon Freeman has a crowbar, so that automatically makes it cooler.).

1/15/09

a wop bop a loo bop a wop bam boo

1/14/09

a do doo do doo doo a doodie doo doooooo

1/13/09

I've watched it over and over for two months, and the Left 4 Dead intro movie is still fucking awesome.

1/12/09

----------------
Now playing: What Made Milwaukee Famous - Selling Yourself Short
via FoxyTunes

DfNP

I have declared today a Day for No Pants. You don't have to join me, but you're always welcome.

1/10/09

I've been playing more Resistance lately. It's so good. It's paced perfectly, it's got kickass weapons, and plenty of OMGWTF moments. I'm about a third through the game, and I really want to finish it.

HOOHA!

I was so tired last night, I didn't even bother to take my sweatshirt off. I actually slept better in it than I thought I would.

1/08/09

I'm so tired. I've been moving the last of our stuff from our old house all day today. I need a shower and I need to change clothes, but I don't give a shit right now. I'm going to bed.

...TMI?

Holy crap... my mom is at work, and Mallory is asleep. I'm in the bathroom with my Macbook taking a shit... WITH THE DOOR OPEN! I CAN EVEN HEAR THE TV!

1/06/09

I just finished watching all three Austin Powers movies for the first time. While they were all laugh-out-loud hilarious, I think I liked the first one the best. I think the only thing that could have made it much better was if Mini-Me and Fat Bastard were in it. I mean, I really liked the second and third films, but the first one was just too good. Plus, Beyonce? Seriously? Sure, Heather Graham (not anywhere near as good as Elizabeth Hurley, though) was okay, but Beyonce? She has to be one of the most bland actresses I've ever seen. Like I said, even though the third one was good, it just wasn't very good compared to the other two, and Beyonce is probably the biggest reason for why is wasn't as good.

Strange Dream #9 - Left 4 Dancing

I had yet another strange dream last night. I was in Left 4 Dead, running around killing zombies, going from one town to another. My dream was a little different from the game, though. For one, there was stuff in my dream, like the Survivors sleeping in the safehouses (you don't think they ran through the entire four Movies in one night, do you?). I remember one part where I was about to go to sleep, and I put a bunch of forks in my hair, I guess for a comb or something, and I fell asleep. The next morning when I woke up (this is all still in the dream, mind you), and the dad from The Brady Bunch was in a dark kitchen making either waffles or pancakes, I don't remember, and it doesn't matter. Anyway, I was just starting to wake up when I heard him getting mad and yelling "WHERE ARE ALL THE SPOONS?!", and I got scared and took all the forks out of my hair before he found out, because he really sounded pissed.

Then, later in the dream, I was in a Wal-Mart parking lot, and the entire parking lot except for the sidewalks was like a big trampoline, and apparently, I was acting like a Zombie Spy (as in, human posing as a zombie). I don't remember much, but apparently, we were doing some sort of dance and we were in an arrow-like formation, like geese. As if that wasn't weird enough, there were two Tanks, and they were in wheelchairs. The actually kinda looked like Joe from Family Guy, how he's all big and muscly, but in a wheelchair. I don't remember much about the dance, but I do remember taking out my pistols and shooting the hunters when no one was looking. After a while, I was apparently found out to be a spy, so I started jumping across the parking lot, doing flips in the air. That's about the last thing I remember.

I'm not making this shit up. I really wish I could make this shit up, but I can't. At least not consciously.

Tweet.

I just joined Twitter. I might end up using it more than I do this blog. I mean, I'll still try to post here at least once a day, but it looks like I might end up posting several times a day on Twitter.

Note: I need to stop double-spacing between sentences. It takes up too many of my valuable characters.

1/03/09

AHUGHGH. My mom got a new router today... she's been messing with it all day, and it doesn't work. I haven't been able to be online at all. Sure, that's not saying much, because I just woke up an hour ago, but I still had to go through the trouble of helping her plug the old router back up.

HONK

BEEP
BAM
BANG
TOOT
ONOMATOPOEIA

Left 4 Dead Console Codes

I decided to put some of my favorite console codes for L4D into a post, both for my own future reference, and for anyone else who happens upon this post.

Type "sv_cheats 1" in the console to turn cheats on (NOTE: Turning cheats on will disable achievements).

Fly mode/Noclip
noclip

Third Person View
thirdperson

Over-the-Shoulder View
thirdpersonshoulder

Change Level
changelevel

Spawn Zombie
z_spawn

Play as zombies in Singleplayer
sv_cheats 1;
director_force_versus_start;
director_no_human_zombies 0;
sb_all_bot_team 1;
Press the "M" key to switch teams.

Check Achievement Progress
achievement_status

And finally, how to play the game in Splitscreen on the same PC.