*BRRAAPP*

Ugh, I've been burping up hard-boiled eggs for an hour. They're damn good the first time down, but not so much the second time through. I don't like the yolk, though. I used to, but I just can't get myself to eat it now. I cooked the eggs, though, and that's like the first thing I've cooked that didn't involve a microwave in like, I don't know, a year maybe?

I had such a strange dream last night. Two, actually. I don't remember the second one, though. Oh god, this is so weird. I just remembered one of the details of the dream...it makes absolutely no sense. Anyway, here's what I do remember.

I was in a car dealership, and it was really tall. like, maybe four stories or something. I was in the top floor, and I was in a cylindrical room with spiral stairs in it. I don't remember if I was racing somebody or if I was running away from them, but nevertheless, I was trying to be faster than one of the people who worked at the car dealership. Anyway, there was a door to the outside on all the floors, and they were all locked except for the ground floor, so once I got out that door, I ran out to the parking lot where they keep all the cars, and right up front, I saw a minivan with no doors and no windshield. I ran over to it and jumped in, and then I realized that the pedals were weird. There were three pedals in all, and they were, starting from the left, a reverse pedal, a forward pedal, and then the brake pedal. So, not only were the pedals switched, the brake pedal was in the passenger side floorboard.

Anyways, I jumped in and took a few seconds to figure out the pedals, and then I took off (for some reason, it didn't need a key or anything) and drove through the glass double-doors and started driving through the car dealership. Another weird thing about the pedals was that they were really loose and the car didn't go very fast. It felt exactly like what I would expect a golf-kart to drive. So, I was driving through the place, and most everybody was just talking on their phones and not even paying attention to me, although a few people gave me weird looks.

I kept driving (through several more panes of glass), and ended up in what looked like the clothing departments in Wal-Mart or something. I ended up driving all the way to the front of the store right behind some people who were leaving and one lady said "I'm never coming here again." and when I heard that, I felt a twisted sense of satisfaction. After I drove through those doors, I just went out and parked in the parking lot with all of the other shoppers. I was lucky and got one of the front spaces, too.

So I walked back in and was just minding my own business, and being overwhelmingly surprised and happy to see that nobody had realized that I was the crazy guy who just drove a really slow van through the store not two minutes ago, and then I saw this girl about my age following me and she said "I know it was you." I was like "Whatever.", so she started yelling "SECURITY!!!", trying to get me in trouble, but nobody was paying attention to her, so she went over to a girl who was stuffing clothes in her purse, obviously shoplifting. The second girl started yelling "HELP ME, I'M BLIND!", trying to help the first girl get someone over to get me in trouble, but her attempts weren't working, either. Just then I saw the first girl start shoplifting, too, and I started yelling "SHOPLIFTER!" and three guards ran over and arrested the girls.

After that, I started walking outside, extremely giddy that I had just gotten away with all that. I got my cellphone out (it was weird because it was my old phone, and not my iPhone.), to call my mom to pick me up, but I couldn't remember what number I had her speed dial set to, and I couldn't remember her phone number, so I just started messing with my phone trying to get into the address book. I was walking the whole time, and by now I was close to the end of that parking lot, and I was walking next to four bikers, and when I did, one of them stuck his hand out and grabbed my face and I said "Don't do that, please." and one of the other bikers said "Yeah, leave him alone.", so I just kept on walking. When I got to the end of the parking lot, I was just walking around the back of a Bank for some reason, and then the girl came back and was taunting me and stuff, trying to get me in trouble, saying stuff like "Why don't you go back in the store? You won't get in trouble.", and I was just like "Piss off. You're just trying to get me caught.", and then I woke up and had to pee really bad.

I think this is the strangest dream I've ever had.