Last Night

First, let me give you a little backstory of my family. I was born in a town in Tennessee. Two years later, my brother was born. Three years later, my sister was born, and nine months after that, we moved to Kentucky and built a house on my dad's parent's farm. My parents have never gotten along too well. They've never been mean or hostile or anything, but they just never got along very well for about as long as I can remember. Anyway, when I was ten, my mom basically kicked my dad out. My great-grandfather (who had died not long (I don't remember how long it was. It may have been two years or two months.) before this) had lived across the street from us, and since my dad's mom then owned the house, she let him live there.

Since he lived right across the road, I saw him frequently and everything was basically fine (other then my parents being split up), and eventually my dad came back. Two years later when I was twelve, they split up again. My dad still lived right across the street, and again, everything was okay. Well, the years went on, and then last year, about a week after my fourteenth birthday, my mom moved to another town in Tennessee, about an hour from the first town, and my dad moved back to the house we built, and although things were a little worse (we now lived about two hours away from my dad), it was still fine. He called almost every night and came up to see us every so often, blah blah blah.

Now, Mason, my brother, has been staying primarily with my dad for the most part of the past year, and Mallory (my sister) and I have been primarily with my mom, just out of choice (it's not that any of us like a parent more than the other or anything, it's just where we've decided to stay for the time being, and we can go to the other parent's house at any time (within reason)).

Yesterday, Mason, had a dentist appointment. Our dentist is about halfway between my mom's and my dad's. My mom wanted my dad to bring Mason all the way here, so he could see the new house that we have all but bought, so they came yesterday. Everything was fine, it was just a normal visit, until right before my dad left.

See, my mom has been trying to get money from my dad (money that she used to pay for the Kentucky house to be built), so she could pay off some of the house we just bought. I knew all this, and I considered it to be relatively no big deal.

Anyway, right before my dad left, both my parents called us three kids into the living room. I could tell something was wrong. After they started talking for a bit, they went into stuff that I already knew about, like my mom trying to get the money, but after a while, they started talking about not being able to do it...because they were still married. By this time, Mallory, who has always hoped that our parents would get back together, still didn't understand. I wasn't completely getting it, so I asked, "So it's everything BUT a divorce?" and my dad said "It is a divorce." Mallory started crying then, and I could tell that Mason was choking back tears. I was...unfazed. I mean, I knew that there was virtually no chance of them getting back together, but I didn't really expect an actual divorce to ever occur. Still, though, I didn't really feel bad. They kept talking and answering questions and everything, and then after a while, my dad left.

After everything settled down, I just got back on my computer and did whatever I normally do, I even play L4D with ACD for a while. I was never completely concentrated, though. I was just thinking about stuff. I wasn't really bothered by the announcement of a divorce. What bothered me was that I wasn't bothered by the announcement of a divorce. Isn't that something that you should typically feel something for? Even after I slept and was talking to my mom this morning, she asked me how I felt about things, and I just told her that I felt indifferent.

See, since my parents aren't fighting or hostile or anything, this is going to be a rather strange situation for a divorce. Apparently, nothing is really going to change, we can still go to either parent's house at any time and whatnot, it's basically just going to be a title change.

So, even though it's virtually nothing, shouldn't I at least feel a little bad? If I don't feel bad about that, then I feel bad about not feeling bad. Is that bad?

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So anyway, this is another prime example of why I decided to blog. It has basically documented the last three months of my life. I like that.